Balancing creative ambitions with real life responsibilities

[NAO]

Throw your own parties. Common answer to that question on here if I'm not mistaken and great advice..
Things rarely "just happen" so don't wait for "something" to happen, do something yourself instead.

It's easy to say, but to do it it's totally different thing, when you don't have any contacts and you are foreigner as well, everyone is looking at you differently, and hardly want to accept it, especially in college, people think that your'e dumb dumb or something, I asked can I play around with cdj, and one of the tutors replied ''oh i'm afraid i can't do this, this equipment is 5-6k quid worth I don't want someone to break it'' i was literally in shock how he spoke with me, I'm using DDJ-SR for 1,5 and half (I mean i know how it works), but to show me how to use it's will take 10-15 min, however one way or another i asked one of my main course teacher, and he managed to organize it, but i still need to w8 2-3 weeks to put hands on it, it's pissing me off that cheesy people habit to judge people, becouse you're from different country.

Well then.. there's your answer. You're simply not ready to do what it takes, you're waiting for things to happen and are not ready to make them happen. Admit that and embrace it. You'll be a much happier person.

You're young (I take it you're in college), as you grow older (and fatter and balder) your mindset will [probably] change and you won't think too much about what other people do and do not do and instead of what you yourself can do. Then perhaps you'll be ready if you still want "it".

[NAO]

My issue now is TIME and the lack there of. I have fuck all time. My next move is to go to HR after next summer and tell them I really have to work 4 days a week. That will help. Its almost impossible to produce and keep a full time job.

Hear hear. On the same topic and on topic.. I work full time (~45 hours/week) and since three years I also study at university, half time (~20 hours/week). A total of around 65 working hours/week, not extreme but not very laid back either.. I've also switched jobs 4 times in the last 4 years since I decided it was time to grow up and practice my profession. It's fucking hard to actually have the time to do anything (especially with relations thrown in, and physical activity to be able to handle working full time) - but - which is interesting - not having time, at least for me, has made me a lot more efficient than I was before. Planning is key. I'm sure all the parents of Subsekt will agree! I decide beforehand when to do what; what day, between when and when. It's been a process though and it's taken some time.. Age also plays a role I'd say.

I plan to quit my current job either this summer or next year. I'm gambling on whether my workplace will exist or not in 1,5 years time.. should they have to fold I'd be getting some benefits which would equate to more free time to do creative things compared to quitting which won't be as good for me. In the next two years I'm aiming to pack up and leave, go abroad somewhere (looking at China ATM) and working a less well paid job, doing fewer hours, but doing something that will be interesting to me and hopefully for future employers should I decide to come back and continue working back home. Fewer hours ofc = more time reading, producing and so on.

Only partially an answer to the OP:s post but yeah.. planning, how boring it may sound, is I'd say good advice when you find yourself not having anytime. Take control over your time, don't let time control you. Try to decide which days/hours are dedicated to production, no compromises.

[Mattias]

people think that your'e dumb dumb or something,

Well this part will never change. Talking from experience! We who went to raves and bought DJ equipment and music gear were all UFO's in other peoples eyes throughout school. Now we're UFO's because we made it work.

[rsntr]

For me it worked to define a minimum viable commitment. I.e., figure out how much time I can allocate every day to music making. For me that's 30 mins each day, regardless what else is going on. But it could also be 10 mins or 3 hrs, depending on your schedule. I turn off the internet, set an alarm clock and try to work super focused with clearly defined goals. When the 30 mins are over I do what else needs to be done in my life or take a break and have another 30 mins session. It's usually straight after I come home from work. Sometimes in the morning before I go to work if I manage to get up early enough.

[0dd]

Fresh parent here in need of same help! I've got a 9 month old son and I'm just wondering, did you parents of Subsekt have any music time at this period, and how the fuck did you manage it?

[terryfalafel]

Fresh parent here in need of same help! I've got a 9 month old son and I'm just wondering, did you parents of Subsekt have any music time at this period, and how the fuck did you manage it?

I remember when I managed to consistently start getting some time back in the evenings when both Mrs and kid were asleep. From about 8pm - 10pm most nights if I recall correctly. That was around the 6 month mark and it was brilliant. Quiet house, no interruptions for a couple of hours. Sometimes I wanted to make music, but often it was just revelling in glorious silence without anybody needing anything from me. Obviously the sleep / feed etc routing is different for everyone so perhaps it's not the same for you.

Then after that, I think it was the point where feeding in the night stops and they get a proper night's sleep that was the next big milestone. I can't even remember what age that was now tbh. But the routine was something like put them in bed at 6 - 7pm, eat, get a couple of hours of free time in and then crash early before the 5am wake up call haha.

I think that if you're the kind of father (assuming you're a bloke ) who does a fair bit of the effort of child raising rather than leaving everything to your lady, it's wise to accept that your normal life is temporarily on hold for the moment, including hobbies, creative outlets etc. It will all come back, but rushing it or forcing it is probably counterproductive. I found large parts of having a tiny baby hard to enjoy, and in the downtime I wanted to relax / recover rather than do anything creative. But with hindsight I now know those times are over soon enough. It just feels like forever at the time

[Lost to the Void]

Kept real life responsibilities to a minimum basically.
That involved having no kids as a main key, and finding jobs that could work around my musical needs.
So for years I was doing weird off hours shit that would fit around my musical life (not including when I lived in the rave scene running raves), bouncer, wheel clamper, head of security, soundsystem engineer, commercial sound installation, security consultant, taxi marshal, eventually management consultant (contracted as an associate), and then finally after apprenticing/working with an engineer, building my own mastering room.
Bought a house, so I suppose that counts as responsibility, but doing it up mostly myself (with the missus "help") which is keeping costs down and means it is done at my own leisure.
I don`t make money out of producing, I soon saw the trap that involves, and monetised my skills and experience ina different way (mastering).
This leaves me with the freedom to produce at the pace I want, to spend as much time experimenting or deviating (because who the fuck wants to only make techno all the time?) as I want with no pressure. For me it`s pretty much ideal, I can start side projects/new projects and have fun with them without thinking "How will I pay the rent with this?"

Essentially, if you want to do it, you have to make sacrifices, and if you are unwilling to make sacrifices, accept the limitations placed on you by your responsibilities and commitments and be happy in that.

[jordanneke]

Fresh parent here in need of same help! I've got a 9 month old son and I'm just wondering, did you parents of Subsekt have any music time at this period, and how the fuck did you manage it?

Man, I have 3 of them. 7, 5 and 3.

It's all about priorities. Once you've covered the musts, like being a family man and working, you then learn to be very organised with your time.

Otherwise just accept that having a kid means that you won't be able to (ever) dedicate your time to your hobbies that you used to.

[Mattias]

Essentially, if you want to do it, you have to make sacrifices, and if you are unwilling to make sacrifices, accept the limitations placed on you by your responsibilities and commitments and be happy in that.

This.

[0dd]

@terryfalafel: yeah I guess my problem is the fear of never getting the time back. I'm 25 and still in the feeling of no more parties because of family life, even though my wife is also into techno and partying, and that I guess I could live without since I was already loosing the satisfaction of being a consumer ever since I first touched CDJs and felt being the transmitter of the vibe. But then I realised production time is fading so the fear has been eating me that it'll never come back. Thanks for the reassurance, it means a lot! Also having the feeling "is it wrong that I'm arguing with my wife about this, is it really worth to force it, I mean can I even enjoy it like that?" Gonna relax it a bit now, do it when it's possible if at all, put some faith in the cards of the Universe, if it's meant it will come back

@Void: fuck, man you really did a lot of shit rave related I really like your zen approach, I feel that you know about Alan Watts, some of the stuff you write really resonates with his words.

@Jordan: So organisation.. The biggest enemy of my life. Well I guess it's about time I man up and face it.

[intrusav]

@terryfalafel: yeah I guess my problem is the fear of never getting the time back. I'm 25 and still in the feeling of no more parties because of family life, even though my wife is also into techno and partying, and that I guess I could live without since I was already loosing the satisfaction of being a consumer ever since I first touched CDJs and felt being the transmitter of the vibe. But then I realised production time is fading so the fear has been eating me that it'll never come back. Thanks for the reassurance, it means a lot! Also having the feeling "is it wrong that I'm arguing with my wife about this, is it really worth to force it, I mean can I even enjoy it like that?" Gonna relax it a bit now, do it when it's possible if at all, put some faith in the cards of the Universe, if it's meant it will come back

@Void: fuck, man you really did a lot of shit rave related I really like your zen approach, I feel that you know about Alan Watts, some of the stuff you write really resonates with his words.

@Jordan: So organisation.. The biggest enemy of my life. Well I guess it's about time I man up and face it.

27 is your peak so you'll be ok, sort your life out in the next 24 months. What is your priority? Work on owning it. At the end of the day your fam is priority (from your post) but you can define the time you need to do what you want/need within reason. Be flexible too ..

[Kromasome]

Fresh parent here in need of same help! I've got a 9 month old son and I'm just wondering, did you parents of Subsekt have any music time at this period, and how the fuck did you manage it?

Man, I have 3 of them. 7, 5 and 3.

It's all about priorities. Once you've covered the musts, like being a family man and working, you then learn to be very organised with your time.

Otherwise just accept that having a kid means that you won't be able to (ever) dedicate your time to your hobbies that you used to.

I'm very similar to Jordan (6, 5 and 2). Basically just wait until they're in bed then hope the missus doesn't want the laptop and then start playing. Can be hard to find energy/motivation at this time of the day though (despite all the wonderful ideas and inspiration you had throughout the day). But basically like zenVoid said, you have to accept that the decisions you make will affect what is possible given the responsibilities and priorities you now have as a result of those decisions. I would say a 9-month old is a high priority so obviously you have no choice but to work around his/her needs first.

Sleep deprivation can occasionally work wonders for your creativity when you are in a delirious, zombie-like state before you even open up the DAW. But usually it just means you start nodding off while aimlessly tweaking a filter for 5 minutes... but, setup a track to record the output and you might be pleasantly surprised with what you came up with while you were dribbling on your keyboard.

[Lost to the Void]

@Void: fuck, man you really did a lot of shit rave related I really like your zen approach, I feel that you know about Alan Watts, some of the stuff you write really resonates with his words.

I love Allan Watts, (My first vinyl release has a talk by Alan Watts on giving yourself up to the void running all the way through it) I meditate regularly, and I studied Zen and Dzogchen bhuddism for years.
So yeah. I follow my own sort of post-zen philosophy now, a sort of syncretic thing melding western and Eastern occult.
Zenarchy.

[0dd]

Is there any chance that a digital version exists? Zenarchy the middle way between the middle way and everything else in a fuck the system kinda way.

[Hades]

It has been about five months now since I quit my job and started a one-man company. The job was making me feel like a caged animal. However, I also felt I wouldn't be able to achieve the goals I have with producing if I kept working there.

With that being said, I haven't found any time to produce in the last half a year or so. All my energy has gone towards building my business. I'm getting slightly better at balancing things, but at the same time, I feel I'm not progressing fast enough and need to spent more time producing.

I know not many of you make a full income out of producing, so how do you balance it with your other obligations?

Still gotta catch up on half the replies, but before I lose my train of thoughts...

Sounds to me like you're just having trouble adjusting to the normal amount of "limited" free time 90% of the population has.
It's pretty fucking normal. When you're student, you don't fully realize it most of the time, but you got a lot more time off than you have when you work full time.
Ignoring my 1st real job (which I only did for about 2 months), I got a job where I was in Germany working 10 to 12 hour shifts for 1 week,
and at home the next week. That system gave me tons of free time.
Later on I started working nightshifts in another dispatch job but this time in Belgium, so I still had half the month off,
which meant about 12 days off in reality, counting in all the time you need to switch from night back to day and vice versa.
This all started before I got kids, and I stopped doing that job about 3 years ago.

10 years ago I became a dad for the 1st time, and had her with me instead of in day care for pretty much most of my days off,
6 years ago nr 2 came, and at the same time I started to renovate my whole house in my days off.
If I would have been counting in the hours during some of those years, I'm pretty sure I was working about 70 to 80 hours a week,
not counting time with my kids.
I remember even having a discussion with my mrs saying how I didn't see time with my girls as "time off" for me,
which is totally stupid, because obviously, for pretty much all of us with kids, any time off work is time off,
and a lot of us would love to have even more time off to spend it just with their kids.
This is of course because when your kids are young, you can't do fuck all in your studio because they need your attention pretty much all the time,
so I only really considered time off as the time I was able to make music.

Anyway... last job I did I had 2PM till 10PM shifts, so I got every morning off,
which meant that after I dropped the kids off at school, I made music from about 9AM till 12:30,
then prepared dinner for them to eat when they got home, and left for work.

But to make a general conclusion... :

[Hades]

There are 24 hours in a day, and most people are just fucking lazy.
Of course I had the luxury of having jobs where my time off was more in "blocks",
and I lost less time with traveling to work and stuff since I did my hours in less days than the average person.
But most parents I know put their kids in day care (because of course they had to with their normal 9 to 5 jobs),
and didn't spend years working in their own house.
This is not to blow my own horn (though of course it sounds like that, so apologies for that),
but it's my opinion, when looking around me, that many people just lose lots of time with really really stupid trivial shit.
They waste about an hour a day if not more just being on fucking FB.
They waste maybe 1 or 2 hours a week playing some video-game.
They waste maybe 1 to 2 hours every evening doing the couch potato thing in front of the television.
...

There are so many things that seem like "little" things that you can cut out off your life, or at least minimize a lot,
in order to make up extra free time for music making.
Like a friend of mine used to say : you don't have time, most decent people don't have time, you simply make time.

[Hades]

now of course, if you want to play video-games, and that's your thing, then hey, go mental, no prob.
Or if you're a big filmfreak, then why not watch a film almost every evening ?
I used to watch about 20+ films every month for like 12+ years,
I used to do sports 3x a week,
I...
but eventually I cut down on pretty much all of that just because I decided I wanted more time for my music making.

Life is all about making priorities.
And in the case of us with kids, those are priorities which you can't escape (and if you do, you're just a total cunt in my book),
but in your case...
Since you recently stopped studying, I presume you still live at home ?
If so, you're not losing time by having to worry about doing the groceries, cooking, doing your laundry,...
Enjoy that, cause that's gonna change some day as well.

[Hades]

Or to put it simple : look for the stuff in your life that eats up too much of your time that is not at all as important to you than making music.
This doesn't mean you need to cut that shit out completely,
it just means you might win several hours a week if you minimized the time you lost by doing that stuff (whatever that is).

And yes, of course everyone needs some total "chill time",
where you can just zoom out and relax,
and god knows making music is not always just relaxing, especially in the first few years where you still need to focus a lot more,
and things feel a lot more like a burden and not like tons of fun,
but whenever you'll look into artists that really got good in their art,
it's because they were dedicated, and prepared to give up pretty much everything else just for their passion.
Hell, a lot of the musicians I admire were proper cunts in real life and totally sucked at being a parent,
simply because they were all about being devoted to music.
I don't want to be that kind of parent, but I can understand their choice
(or rather, I don't understand why they got kids in the first place)

[0dd]

Wow Hades, while reading this topic and deciding to write also, I was wondering how the fuck is that mile long comment cunt Hades not here already, he's like THE parent of Subsekt, and there you go, 4 fucking scriptures of a comment, always a pleasure to read them though. Only one question, since cunt is a contronym at Subsekt, do you like people who fuck off their kids or not?
Ps. I hope I can use the word cunt so freely since i'm a new cunt in this cuntland. Cunt!

[Lost to the Void]

Is there any chance that a digital version exists? Zenarchy the middle way between the middle way and everything else in a fuck the system kinda way.

yes
youtu.be/RW-qJxAj9os
but the audio rip isn`t so good

better quality here
https://singularityrecordings.bandcamp. ... /cernunnos